nothing has happened. nothing will happen. i am dead to the world. i almost opened up to ruthy, sort of. sent her an email about past writings and whatnot. i think i gave e the impressing im depressed, i hope not. i dont want her to think too much about me. i mean, shes my best friend. but i dont want her worrying about me. i dont think she does.
leo i think has been ignoring me more than usual in school. no contact whatsoever. he hasnt even looked at me, far as i know. but ive caught him and kim talking, which is unsettling. i think that if she were to say to his face that he should ask me to the dance (which she said she would, for reasons unknown, yet suspected) there would be a greater chance he would ask her. this might be what she wants, after all. i know she would love to be asked by him to the dance, but would she sink so low as to involve me in it? i hope that, if he does, she tells us all at once. easier to cover up my despair until i can get home and sob. crap, i hope he asks during last class. and that that class is french, which we all have together. that way she can tell me immediately, and i only have to wait for a few minutes. or, better yet, he would ask her on the 8th grade trip and she could blog about it, that way i would not only be prepared but also i could email her say congratulations, and it would all be out of the way. or, best of all, he wont ask her. i dont think i could bare to hope for a scenario where he asks me.
now that i have sufficiently ranted about leo, the dance, and leoleoleoleoleo, i think i can talk about my story. like i said, i told ruthy about past writings. i refused to tell her about Myth, though. i would have to give it up and that would be depressing. i dont think i can give up on this one just yet. i should write now. i probably wont, but goodbye anyways.
