ughh.

i just read k's blog, the one who likes leo, to. this made me depressed in two ways.
1: she thinks that they are getting closer. for her sake, i hope its true, but for mine. well i really dont know what i want or what i think.
2: she shares this blog with another friend ( her name is now fred.)and those to are absolute opposites in every way. go to sumandwin.blogspot.com if you dont believe me, just read the side bar. k is logical, smart, and clever whereas fred is confusing, artistic, and determined. sometimes. so this makes me depressed because i have no opposite. i dont know who i am, what im like, what i like, i dont have any hobbies, i keep to myself, the things i used to like are ever slowly dripping away from me... and i like to write. but of course, im not open about it because im not open about anything. i ball up my emotions and hide them away where they cant be seen and then fake my life. everything i do at school is fake and stupid. even e, my best friend, dosent know i write anything, and she is the closest anyone has ever gotten to me. that said, she barely knows me, which is #3. my best friend in the world is someone who i cant open up to. those life is good shirts are wrong. life is too hectic and emotional and confusing to ever be just plain good. the world dosent work that way, and neither do i. i need a shirt that says 'life is to darn confusing to describe on a tee-shirt'. will some one make that for me?