not a lick...

...of reflecting on the last 3 years. should i be? sleepy is. im not sad, either. maybe im broken.

...of writing this weekend. i said i would, so of course there was no chance of it. shocking, right?

im going to go crack down, and try to figure out some of what i want in the story i was mumbling about last time i blogged. i like the basic idea, of course, but i need to really think about whats going to happen. i want to squeeze in this great character i came up with, prahn, but im not sure if i can. hes an assistant to the main antagonist, and completely insane. not bellatrix insane, more of a man who lost his marbles somewhere along the way. he watched his love die/killed her. her death was ordered by his employer the main antagonist, and he never got over it. as children he was completely alone and on the streets, and she was a mute neglected by her parents. the stuck together as outcasts, and made a life together. after her death, he would always keep one hand in his pocket- signing her name again and again. (she couldnt speak, so they made up a sign language together that no one else knew. he kept a picture of her with him, and he was signing to the picture.) a heart wrenching tale of undying love, right? theres a lot more to both of them, but ill save it. i think i named her bet, i know it started with a b.

im not sure i can include him. maybe he should have his own story? maybe i can give the 'mute lovers death drove him insane' role to someone else. it might fit better, because i have no idea who the antagonist that employs him is. he could be the main antagonist of the killed her sister story, conviced that they (sister and killer) murdered bet. who knows, if i think i can use him once i start writing again, hell be there.

i want a purpose. im going to go write again.